David Owian Hughes is an up and coming new horror author who is building himself quite the awesome and uniquely diverse library thus far.
This is a series of shorts with a weave-around. Ooor is it??Harry and Crystal are a couple of lousy theatre actors who consider themselves thespians of the highest caliber, they really reeeeallllllly loathe bad reviews. Do not give them bad reviews, in fact, just do not go to any of their shows ~ period.
They are deadly psychopaths. Harry is very demeaning and blunt towards Crystal but she takes it all in stride, she’s a bit lovesick and most likely somewhat leary and timid of him…ooor is she??
Hopping in a van, after taking care of some psychopathic business, they set out on a road trip to go see her poor nut housed sister. They come across a book called White Walls and Straitjackets – author unknown – hidden in the glove box and therein lies some of the most heinous and creepy stories that all seem to hit a little too close to home.T.M.M. ~ Shelby is a serial killer who likes to lurk about and hide out in unsuspecting ladies closets, sniffing their knickers. He may have met his match with his latest “unsuspecting” gal though.The Quiet Room ~ A man confined to the Castell Hirwaun loony bin for massacring his family, he is said to have amnesia, not even knowing his own name other than the Mr. Stevenson the staff call him….he is forever stuck in the memory of what truly happened that bloody and horrific day.
Mr. Tickles ~ A shout out to the inanimate clown friend of Simone from Hughes amazing Wind-Up Toy novel. In this, he is quite real, 40ish and grossly appalling. Along with his pet raven, he’s getting ready to perform his heinous circus act with his bound whore in tow.
Santa Klaws ~ Santa got an evil brother hell-bent on offing him every Christmas. Kiddies don’t want a visit from this particular St. Prick, he relishes and actively seeks out collateral damage.
Lips ~ A little back story of our main characters; meet Cynthia, David, and Walter, the 3 reviewers who sealed their fate when they dared to bash Harry and Crystal’s show stopping performance. Crystal may not be as meek and mild as she lets on and gleefully channels her hurt ego into a pure vicious rampage worthy of Oscar gold.
Who knew being a critic was such a dead-end job.
Canvas ~ 23-year-old Sid decides it’s finally time to get himself a tattoo. After much research he picks the perfect parlor. Settling on a boa tat, he proceeds to the procedure. Well, turns out he not only picked the wrong tattoo but the wrong artist as well. These tattoos have spiritual and symbolic meanings that can make or break you.
Coincidentally, Crystal also got a more ‘enlightened’ choice of a tattoo at that same parlor and also meet her love Harry there.
Stitch ~ Norm still loves his wife but since her accident he’s had to look outside his marriage for certain gratifications, accommodations, and modifications.
Hob’s ~ Jessica works in a shit hole diner that doubles as a bar. She has an ass for a boss who has a slag of a wife. Poor Jessica, she was late to work due to car troubles and has now secured a ride back home from a kindly gent named Shelby. He seems nice enough. Damn her father for being late.
The Works ~ Jessica’s father finally gets to Hob’s looking for her as the sleazy proprietors are running their lucrative side job. Think glory hole solicitations for cost-effective menu items.
*Also, our Crystal finally meets up with her lil sister, it’s been years. Samantha is bound to the medical bed at her long-term and permanent residence home away from home, Castell Harium, and is none too happy to see her big sis.
They have issues.
02:00 am ~ Steve enjoys going for super early morning runs, camera in tow and under the cover of night, he seeks and creeps into sealed off crime scenes, which there are plenty of in his neck of the woods. After accidentally witnessing a disposal of sorts…well, bye Steve, you seemed like a nice enough, albeit creepy as hell, dude.
Brilliant little epilogue chronicling some of the inmates at the Castell Hirwaun loony bin. Just a bit more insight and clarity to it all.
Ya know, South Wales is an absolutely beautiful and stunning place, however I think I’ll completely scratch it off my ‘places I’d like to visit’ list.
A lot of nutters, wankers, and psychos run amuck there.
Apparently including Mr. Hughes himself, an inmate as well due to his…..wait for it ~ sex addiction and overt infatuation with stocking-ed up legs. Of course, this part is puuuure auto biography.
Running gag through all his books, David’s got a real hard-on leg fetish.
This is actually a pretty complex little tale of tales, it switches up past and present and has unusual little intertwining elements in it. One must really pay attention, it’s worth it and all adds up in the end.
It may seem to come across as a tad bit disjointed at times but fear not…there is always rotten rhymes and retched reasons to his methods of morbid madness.
Also included at the end, are perfectly little creepy comic pics illustrating all the tales in gory and explicit detail.
I have a signed copy of this book heading my way, I hear it also has the pictures.
YAY, I love picture books, makes me feel like the unbalanced little kid from yesteryears long past.
I have summed this up to the best of my ability, there are far faaaar many more treats, surprises and WTF moments a plenty.
It might hurt your brain a tad, take a Motrin or pop a handful of Valium with a rum chaser.
Worked for me!!
Thankfully and self perseverancely, it is highly unlikely Mr. Hughes will ever get a bad review from me. I value my little existence far too much and am in such awe of his unique genius and unrivaled flare to ever even see a need to go there.
Seriously, if any fans of extreme horror have not checked this author out, you should!! He will quickly rise towards the top of your new favorites authors list!!
Next in the series ….